So, if, in my tough life being good, if I do something objectionable like by accident or when upset, assume the worst that I could get in big trouble, also, I came here to say, that I did something bad to someone, in that case, and there's no hope for me, no hope to be treated better neither?

So, who's "in the same boat?"  I need someone to talk to.

I feel I'm in permanent trouble, like I was rude to nice people while secretly mistreated a lot in Orlando.  People want to type me with other people who *almost* made it, and it's irritating, a lot.  Then, they put an older lady, who I like, above me and make fun of me, whereas before I was trapped in Orlando with my family in my 20s this stuff rarely happened and most of my life never in public and when old enough not at home.  So, yea, I've definitely been gypped and become a toy for who's really bad all along in other people's judgment.  Orlando believes they are the true test, but people outside of here, many would trust me more than them.  What did I do in public?  Sometimes, stomped a little and then when people kept going treating me badly ended up doing it more.. things like that..  At home, I sorta felt hurt all the time like at the table and put my stuff roughly and they wouldn't stop treating me like I'm never to be accepted by them again..  Mostly, that.  Anything bad?  Nothing I felt was bad at the time and not sure why, but yea.  I've done some of it by accident kinda.  I always feel people coming inside of me in Orlando, at least before for many years.  I messed up this one time, for awhile living in a noisy apartment, but still I don't know why except things that are my responsibility though I supposed other people know what I'm really talking about? maybe how crimes are committed? except I wasn't necessarily always breaking the law in any way, like if a police came I wouldn't end up locked up nor for long, but maybe people hurting me might undergo some interrogating if I can think of any that can be detected.  Why am I on a guilt trip because of Orlando?  Does anyone else want to go through this to live with it for the rest of their lives?  Like once second can ruin the rest of your life?  No drunk driving, no drug dealing, just something happened and there's no reason, and other bad people no one pays attention to?  Maybe, I should have been able to overcome this or maybe it was embarrassing.  I know my parents just seemed mad all the time and wouldn't admit it, to make me feel bad coming home flunking college, like I know what I did, it's all my fault, there was no reason but me, no one cares it was too much work to show off I will never use.